. matsumoto rangiku .

oh that's not--

2008-04-26T20:46:24Z

HEY SO

IZURU

JUST AN FYI BUT UH IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE ANYONE FROM THE SECOND TODAY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY

OH I DON'T KNOW

RUN LIKE HELL

hey by the way you should probably let Renji and Shuuhei know too

OH HEY BALDY DON'T FORGET I'VE GOT YOUR DUMB LUCKY NECKLACE OR WHATEVER THIS THING IS YOU LEFT IT HERE LAST NIGHT also you left yachiru again, what the hell is wrong with you? I gave her breakfast and she went out to play with some wild dogs or something I'm sure she'll be fine

... now what do I do with all of these paint cans before taichou wakes up........

· { l o g } · ... incomplete

2008-04-20T09:20:59Z

     It had honestly started harmlessly enough. A couple of drinks while she worked, back from Karakura early to check in on the Gotei while Toushirou wrapped up his preparations to transition their shift to Kuchiki-taichou's team, gathering all of the paperwork from the seated officers that needed her attention or seal, reports of things that had gone on in their absence, the usual. Typical administrative work that was easy to get distracted from, unfortunately, which was why she'd ended up staring out the window with her pen drooping in her slack hand, papers scattered in front of her, lost in thought and no longer counting how many times she refilled her cup.
     That had been over an hour ago. There were papers on the floor, and the chair at her desk had been overturned in what looked like a previous clumsy attempt made by the occupant to stand and failing horribly. The ink blotter had knocked over and spilled, but the writing on the papers was smeared from a different kind of moisture, salty, hot and heavy, splattered and scattered like wayward punctuation. It was a mess.
     Rangiku was in the corner, slumped forward with her legs pulled up to her chest, forearms folded on her knees and her forehead resting there, like she'd squeezed as much of herself there as she could, trying to press right through the wall. She shook silently, the sobbing from before only delayed in a brief lull by the fact she couldn't breathe -- breath coming in short, hysterical hiccups. Her lungs wouldn't let her cry, but her body looked like it might shake to pieces.

     For the most part, Kira had spent the past few days in the best mood he'd been in for some time. Having been granted permission to join Kuchiki-taichou and his team in Karakura Town had been just the medicine he'd been needing. To feel useful again, even if he wasn't in top condition, had lifted such a weight. Yet somewhere deep beneath all these emotions was another weight, heavy as lead and settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. The worry that never quite went away.
     There were things to see to before leaving and he'd spent much of the day hurrying back and forth from one place to another getting his affairs in order. There were instructions to give, last minute documents to sign, a million little things that never seemed to matter. He'd tracked someone down to water his plants both in the office and at home. He'd made his third seat promise to air out the office periodically. He'd done all those things and had nearly forgotten one of the more important stops.
     He was in a hurry as he approached the 10th Division, thanking the young officer who had offered him an escort, but promising he could find his way on his own. All smiles, he stopped just outside her office, smoothed out a few wrinkles in his hakama, and knocked lightly on the door. "Matsumoto-san, it's Kira."

     She couldn't figure out why she couldn't stop crying. Surely she'd cried enough already; the reservoir in her soul had to run dry eventually. She clung to the lull in tears as best she could, fingertips numb from where she gripped the folds of her hakama roughly, inhaling shakily through her nose while she tried to calm down. Dimly she was aware part of it was the alcohol, remembering the mess she'd made when she'd gone to stumble to her room and curl up in bed, but that'd turned out to be harder than she thought, the floor finding her before she actually found the door. She'd had enough thought left to at least prop herself up in the corner instead of laying there in a ridiculous heap, but in the end it was no better.
     The knock didn't receive a response at first, and for a few long moments it seemed as if she wasn't going to respond at all. But her head came up eventually, cramped hands releasing her uniform, fingers stiff and reddening as the blood rushed back into them. She rubbed the heel of one hand along her cheeks after a brief pause, smearing tears away from drenched eyelashes as best she could while she debated saying nothing and leaving Kira to assume she'd gone elsewhere.
     A faint exhale, finally, before she let her head drop back against the wall, staring off sideways and swallowing the lump in her throat before she spoke to make sure her voice actually worked. "Come in." Her voice sounded strange, even to her.

     He had been on the verge of turning away when he heard the voice call from within. For a moment, Kira paused with his hand on the door, wondering if perhaps somehow he'd come to the wrong office. A cautious glance was cast down the hallway, first to the left, then the right, before fingers pressed more firmly against the door and pulled it open. "Matsumoto-san?"
     He had not yet taken a full step into the room when what was left of his smile faded completely. What had happened here?! How had this happened! It took much longer than it should have for Kira to set himself in motion and push the door fully open in order to find Matsumoto. Had it not been for her response to his knock, he likely would have stared at the disarray for hours without forcing himself to move. "Matsumoto-san!"
     Clumsy feet carried him quickly towards the corner, though he nearly ran headlong into the corner of the desk in his haste to make it to her side. Yet those awkward stumbles were at least advantageous when he reached her and half lowered, half toppled to his knees. "Matsumoto-san, what happened?" He couldn't imagine what could have caused this unless... The blood rushed out of his face, leaving him nearly white. Had someone died?

     She was drunk on booze and tears, and she looked it. There was no graceful way to cry, /really/ cry, the kind of crying that made you choke and made you sick to your stomach and made you so dizzy you couldn't see straight. Her hands lay limp in her lap, and it wasn't until Kira dropped next to her that she finally turned her head to look at him, bleary-eyed, not registering his face at first. "Ki..." she tried to say his name, but her voice was too thick, and the roof of her mouth felt like cotton.
     For a gut-churning moment all she could do was stare at him and his expression, before the tears welled up, and she squinted, lip quivering while she swallowed hastily, trying to force it all back down. She managed to shake her head quickly... and instead of finding her voice, only succeeded in bursting back into anguished sobs, fingers clenching and her arms tightening around her stomach while the force of the tears nearly doubled her over her knees.

     These were the types of situations better left to other people. Kira wasn't the strong, comforting type. On the contrary, he was the type of guy that usually found himself needing comfort. Yet he would do his best! Fragile arms reached out, trembling even before they wrapped around her shoulders. This was the right thing to do, wasn't it? This was what she needed, wasn't it?
     "Matsumoto-san..." He bit his tongue before asking all the obvious questions. What happened? Are you all right? He saw the sake bottles and knew well enough that she had been the one to empty them, but that was not an unusual fact in itself. However, this wasn't the usual post-sake behavior.
     Knowing that sometimes it was best to simply cry, he said nothing more. He simply pulled her gently against him and rubbed soothing circles over her back. It would be all right, wouldn't it?

     Drinking yourself to the bottom of a bottle to get rid of the hollow, despairing ache in your chest was generally not a good idea, and she knew better. Most days. That's why she didn't drink alone; if there was any worse way to emphasize your loneliness than drinking by yourself, she hadn't discovered it. It almost always backfired, and you just ended up feeling more miserable and lonely than before you'd started.
     She cried for a long time. Or it seemed like forever (minutes felt like hours), seemed like the tears wouldn't let her be. She fought it, biting her lip and shaking, breathing harsh through her nose while she tried to make the convulsing stop, fingernails digging into her sides. If she made it out of this alive, she'd never drink alone again.
     The thought actually made her laugh, or at least she tried to laugh miserably, but she ended up choking halfway through her humor and nearly starting another episode of crying again. Nearly. It seemed she'd finally managed to get a grip on herself, breathing rapid and shallow against his chest for fear that if she breathed too deep it'd all start all over again, but at least the shaking subsided to trembling and it looked like she might be coming up out of whatever dark pit she'd found herself in. Come on, baby. Calm down. Breathe. She repeated the same internal monologue over and over again until she could finally stop digging her teeth into her bottom lip, breathing a ragged sigh.

     How lucky for Kira that his attempts at comfort seemed to be working, though it was likely because Rangiku hadn't gotten a good look at the utterly lost expression he wore. Yet the more she cried, the more the tension fled from his shoulders and the more gentle his embrace became. One slender hand eventually rose to rest upon her hair, petting a few times.
     Finally he found his voice. "Matsumoto-san? Can I get something for you? A glass of water or... coffee or... m-maybe something to eat or..." His words trailed away into a nervous chuckle. If nothing else came of his clumsy attempts at comfort, perhaps she might laugh at him and begin to feel a bit better. He didn't mind putting himself out there if it helped...

     Rangiku was quiet for a long time even after the trembling stopped, the hot tears cooling to sticky trails on her cheeks. When she could piece her thoughts back together again (although not perfectly, far from it), she felt like an idiot -- which didn't help, she thought next -- and she felt exhausted to her bones.
     "... no," she began only when she trusted herself to speak, and then cleared her throat, rubbing her face against the front of his uniform without thinking, trying to scrape the rest of the tears away. She had to bring a hand up to clean up the other side of her face, though, and when that was finally done she dropped her hand back to her lap uselessly. "No, I'm alright."
     She tilted her head down a bit, looking at her hands. ".... He used to say the worst things to me. Not mean things, but he had a way of being perfectly infuriating. Half the time I wanted to strangle him," she muttered, speaking low. "It was just the way he talked... we used to fight because of it. I'd get too upset and say something nasty and it'd just go downhill from there."
     She breathed in slowly, and then exhaled just as slowly, turning her hand over and examining her fingers but not really seeing them. "Half the time I think we enjoyed hurting each other."

     When she finally spoke, Kira allowed himself to be hopeful. He smiled faintly, leaning a bit closer to make sure that she wasn't going to break down again. He'd expected the refusal, but all the same was about to draw away from her to fetch a glass of water, but her words brought him to a halt. Any expression of hope faded promptly and it felt as if a blanket of ice had settled around them. She didn't need to specify. Izuru knew who "he" was.
     What was he supposed to say now? He couldn't very well claim to understand because understanding was the farthest thing from what he felt at the moment. Things had been so different for him... and how could he even begin to compare his own feelings to hers?
     One hand slid up to her shoulder, squeezing lightly, but he gave no other reply for quite a while. Eyes grew unfocused and he was no longer looking at her, but somewhere past her shoulder, if he even saw the room anymore at all. Finally, somehow, he found the only words that could possibly express the only clear emotion he felt. "I'm sorry."

     She sighed, looking away from her hands to regard the mess she'd made of the room. A mess she barely remembered making, even though it couldn't have been that long ago. "Me too," she agreed quietly, wishing her head would function properly, but her thoughts kept swimming and slipping back and forth and she had to concentrate really hard to string them all together coherently.
     She scrubbed her face with a hand before leaning up off of him, catching herself with a hand against the wall when the room tilted jarringly. "What are you doing here...?" she remembered to ask through the haze in her head.

     Kira was snapped out of his distant gaze when she addressed him again. However, the glazed over look never quite faded from his eyes. His thoughts were somewhere far away and the subject of those thoughts was made quite clear by the clenching fist of the hand that no longer rested upon her shoulder.
     "Oh, uh..." He tried very hard to smile, but the expression only came off as forced. "It was nothing important. We can talk about it later... when you feel better."

     "That's a lie," she said immediately, still gripping the wall because the room kept getting up and walking out from under her in the weirdest way, and she wasn't even trying to move. She lifted her other hand, held it up like she was making sure it was, indeed, her hand, and then did her best to smooth her hair out of her face. "If I wasn't so drunk I can't even keep the room straight... anyway... you're not good at visiting people for no reason..."

     A few blinks brought his eyes back into focus and he actually met her gaze, a sheepish smile breaking free. Even drunk, she knew him too well. A faint blush colored his cheeks and he glanced away again. "I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm going to be leaving with Kuchiki-taichou in a few days and... I thought I'd just let you know... See, nothing really important at all."

     ... she nodded, as if she'd expected as much, even though the motion made her regret it immediately because she had to wait for the colors to catch up with her brain. She held out her free hand to him. The other continued to steady her against the wall, just in case. "... help me up..."

     He took a quick, firm hold of her arm just in case she decided to try on her own. He didn't want to see her end up in even worse condition from a fall. "M-Matsumoto-san... Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down for a little while longer." Of course, as he protested, he was already climbing to his feet, somehow knowing she wasn't going to listen to a word of warning.

     So he was going to Karakura after all. That was good, she thought belatedly. He'd been so upset. In the hospital. About his arm...
     It reminded her of how lonely she felt.
     Still, she stumbled to her feet, and right into his chest, bracing herself there. The completely unintentional fistful of his shihakushou she got kept him anchored to her in the offchance she'd overbalanced him, swaying a step backward just enough to keep her upright. .... there.... that hadn't been so hard...
     She knew dimly it wasn't his fault that she was lonely and that she ought to be happy he wasn't forced into medical leave any longer. It was why she looked up at him affectionately, noses a space apart, thinking of his ridiculous, nervous, caring tendencies. "... you got taller..." she murmured, before leaning in further and kissing him.

     "Careful, Matsumoto-san!" He made sure to brace himself and it turned out he was just in time. Had he been unprepared, it was quite likely his own slightly trembling legs would not have held them and they would have ended up back in a heap on the floor. Thankfully, he'd been saved the humiliation.
     It was only after he'd assured himself of his balance that he stopped to realize how close her face was to his. "M-Matsumoto-san..." Heat rushed to his cheeks and he drew back instinctively, though there was no way he could let go and leave her to stand on her own. Nor was there any way to retreat without causing them both to become unbalanced.
     "T-taller? I..." His thought was left unfinished, though, by the wholly unexpected turn of events that followed. How long had it been since he'd been kissed? He couldn't even recall. Did he even know how to respond to such a gesture? Or... if he should. Eventually, though, once his shocked stupor faded away, he managed with an unusually calm resolve, to draw his lips away from hers. Of course, the calm faded before he'd managed to take another breath. Cheeks burned like fire and legs trembled even more than usual. "What was... what was that for?"

     "I thought.. maybe.. you'd taste like him.." she said in a small, sad, hopeful voice.
     There was a long silence after the words left her mouth, eyes unfocused and heavy-lidded before the words themselves sunk in.
     Her eyes snapped open. "I'm sorry." She let go of his shihakushou immediately, covering her mouth with a hand. She didn't push away or otherwise lay a hand on him, but she held her free hand up, a gesture for him to stay while she very carefully walked to her desk -- to her credit only stumbling once before she reached the support it offered -- leaning heavily over it, head down. "I am very, very sorry, Kira."

     That simple response was enough to put an end to any hopes he'd had of maintaining his strength for Rangiku's sake. In the span of that long silence, his entire body grew cold as if a great icy wind had washed over him. The color had drained from his face and even his eyes had turned dull. It was only once she reached the safety of her desk that he turned away, a quick and sharp motion that betrayed its urgency.
     He didn't want her to see him cry.
     He didn't offer an immediate response, but it was clear to see the slow progression of his collapse and recovery. Just once, a sharp shudder rippled over his body accompanied by a shaky breath. It took a few moments after this for him to find his voice and push aside his trembling. He was supposed to be the one offering comfort, right? "It's all right, Matsumoto-san."

     "No... that was..." .. a horrible thing to say to him. She swore softly, slamming her fist into the desk. What had she been thinking? "I would never..." she began, trying to find the words and failing, biting her lip in frustration.
     "I'm sorry," she repeated helplessly, head hanging, her fist uncurling and then curling around one of the papers beneath her hand, crumpling it. "... you probably have a lot to do, before you go." What the hell else could she say?

     Kira's first instinct was to offer a quick goodbye and escape from the room, from the painful situation, but he knew he would regret it, especially if something were to happen to him on his deployment. He couldn't let things between them end on such a note. So he ignored her words completely and turned again towards her, drawing a sleeve quickly across his face to wipe away the first trickle of tears.
     "To tell you the truth, Matsumoto-san..." His words caught briefly in his throat, a last painful attempt to silence himself before he admitted too much. "I used to think things like that about you. Years ago, a long time before anything... happened." This was a memory he had already nearly forgotten, a thought pushed far to the back of his mind by so many other, more important things. Things he'd come to know about her after she became a friend rather than his competition.
      "I was jealous of you for a very long time and I... Well, I guess if it's okay for me to have thought it before, I can't be mad at you..." It was poor reasoning, he knew, but she was not the one to blame for all this pain. And as the tears finally pulled free, rolling slowly down his cheeks, he managed a smile.

"It's Valentines, y'know?"

2008-02-17T09:57:44Z

With every breath I hope to draw out all the sad things,
And lay to rest this feeling of dread.

- Vixtrola, "End: User"

· ·· x · ··

Goodbye.

She stood for a long time after he'd left, and felt much the same way she had when he'd first stood within the negacion, her hand snapping back instinctively from the static brightness. This time, the departure was a little less shocking in its coming, but even so the silence and stillness of the aftermath echoed painfully around her.

Fingertips rose to her neck of their own volition, touching gently, before she finally broke the spell by glancing back towards the busy street, eyes inevitably drawn to the chocolate shoppe again. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her sides while she thought about her next course of action. I could use a private place to think right now.

But she wasn't getting one without making a decision.

... no, better. Don't think about it. Just do it.

...

She shook herself out of her reverie and finally approached the street again, back around the corner to the front of the store. A bell chimed above the door as she went inside, and she bubbled a greeting cheerfully to the dark-haired female clerk behind the glass displays of more cleverly-crafted chocolate and candies. Izuru would like a present, she was sure. Something to cheer him up..

Long minutes of perusal only delayed the unavoidable, and she finally settled on two different sets of artfully decorated chocolates. She had chipper gossip ready for the cashier girl while the girl carefully wrapped and boxed the chocolates up for her, and the smiling request for a pen and a few pieces of suitable paper was granted with knowing winks. The girl said it was very sweet to be including little secret notes for loved ones like that, how romantic!

She blew on the ink when she was finished writing, the letters elegant and black on the creamy note-sized cards the girl had provided. The cards themselves were embossed intricately around the borders.

She looked at the first small card once again.

Goodbye..., it said.

She tucked it inside the first box, made sure the ribbon tying it shut was secure, then handed back the leftover cards and pen graciously and paid for the purchases. She stepped back outside, looking up at the sky.

So much to say, not enough words to say them.

In the end she left the box on a park bench nearby, a second card tucked in the ribbon that said, Hello, You. If he didn't find them, no harm done. And if he did..

As the senkaimon doors slid open away from prying eyes, she stepped inside and glanced back one last, final time. The doors shut.

For what it was worth, I loved you.

boobsandbooze @ 2008-01-13T19:50:00

2008-01-14T00:50:48Z

You paged Toushirou with 'CAPTAIN. <33333'
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku touches. Hugs. Touches on the verge of
molestation.
From afar, Toushirou swats. Squirms. Contemplates violence. "What?" >(
You paged Toushirou with 'I have to take Renji out drinking okay how long are you
going to be online???? <33333'
You paged Toushirou with 'Hmmm.'
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku rubchin. "Well that wouldn't be enough time to
barely start a scene, would it? If we included Kira and there were three of us
posing. (Or even included Renji as part of the appeal to Yamaji?)"
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku plaits your hair.
You paged Toushirou with 'I have tomorrow off though!'
From afar, Toushirou swats away from the hair! "That takes hours to fix! Anyway,
what about tomorrow? Say 4PM-ish EST?"
You paged Toushirou with 'Perfect, that's about what time I wake up. Want me to
check with Kira?'
You paged Toushirou with 'Well, it'd probably be just me and you to begin with. :<'
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku will bring ribbons. <#
You paged Toushirou with 'oh my heart popped .-.;;;'
Toushirou pages: Sure, you can bring whoever you want.... except for ribbons.
You paged Toushirou with 'what about..... beads.'
GAME: Toushirou has reconnected.
You paged Toushirou with 'WELCOME BACK!!!!! <3'
You paged Toushirou with 'So what about beads? :D'
Toushirou pages: Erk. Disconnection troubles. NO BEADS!! >(
You paged Toushirou with 'Feathers?'
Toushirou pages: I'll make you a deal: you leave the hair alone, I'll let you paint
my toes or something.
You paged Toushirou with '... not even lace?'
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku starts selecting nail polish.
Toushirou pages: LACE IS FOR GIRLS!!
You paged Toushirou with 'You know this can't be a party without a makeover, sir.'
Toushirou pages: Makeover Kira, he'd /like/ it. >(
You paged Toushirou with 'He's not as cute as you are. :('
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku would like to reassure you that you are SUPER
FANTASTICALLY CUTE in those bandages, by the way.
Toushirou pages: But I don't have my bandit bandana anymore... ;_;
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku will get you one of those black bandanas and
one of those horses-on-a-stick.
Toushirou pages: I don't want no stupid stick horse! >(
You paged Toushirou with 'Well I'm not getting you a REAL one, SO TOUGH.'
You paged Toushirou with 'Just think, it doubles for beating people over the head
with!'
Toushirou pages: Yes, I think I know JUST WHO TO HIT WITH IT. >)
You paged Toushirou with 'What was that? You want the pale peach party dress?'
Toushirou pages: ....No. ._.
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku twirls you about. "It's a date then!"
From afar, Toushirou thumbs up. "Lucky me." u_u;
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku goes to McDonald's now, is very hungry since
she has to eat for three.
Toushirou pages: WHAAAAT!? :o
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku fluffs her boobs.
You paged Toushirou with 'It's hard supporting a family.'
Toushirou pages: Oh HA FRIGGIN HA! Get out of here. >(
Long distance to Toushirou: Rangiku :*************!!!! <33333

Music

2007-10-15T02:15:55Z

Rangiku x Gin

Reel Big Fish - Drunk Again
Esthero - Beautiful Lie
Esthero - My Torture
Rachel Stevens - I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)
Flyleaf - All Around Me
Alien Ant Farm - Lord Knows
Blue October - What If We Could
Poe - 5 & 1/2 Minute Hallway
Poe - Amazed
Sheryl Crow - My Favorite Mistake
Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairytale (?)
Scissor Sisters - Kiss You Off
The Hush Sound - Don't Wake Me Up

Rangiku

Esthero - Indigo Boy ( Rangiku / Hitsugaya? )
Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back
Ian Pooley ft. Esthero - A Better Life
Jessica Simpson - These Boots are Made for Walkin'
Willa Ford - A Toast to Men
Zero 7 - Distractions
Zero 7 - Spinning (Matsu and Kira?)

Misc Others

Stella Soleil - Let's Just Go To Bed (Szayel crack)
Megan McCauley - Tap That (Yoruichi)
Poe - Wild (Yoruichi x Soifon)
Mindless Self Indulgence - Bitches (Grimmjow)
Anthrax - Posse (Grimmjow)
Rasputina - Diamond Mind (Yumichika crack)

Kira

Aqualung - Something to Believe In
Coldplay - Trouble
Coldplay - Clocks
Blue October - It's Just Me
One Republic - Stop and Stare
Vast - Touched (MAYBE)

These soft spots..

2007-09-28T10:13:47Z

Even when things are going bad, do you ever.. think of something, maybe out of nowhere, and no matter how bad your day has been, it just makes you happy?

Winter's coming soon. The air is getting cooler, soon the leaves will change. I never liked the snow. Winter is Captain's kind of thing -- it's too cold for me.

But.. I have to admit.. Gin made every winter bearable. More than that. He made them enjoyable.

Lately I have to deal with things like tip-toeing and glances, things like words-people-won't-say-out-loud-but-they-still-say-them-with-their-eyes. For the most part I ignore it, but it's hard not to notice. Everyone tries so hard at trying not to be obvious, and it just sort of cancels it all out and they end up as blatant as if they were screaming it in my face. Sometimes I can't help but smile in a sad sort of way. It's kind of depressing that they have to try so hard.

I'll be okay. I promise.

I was thinking of him today, and remembering all of the winters we spent together. I remember the very first, and our very first snow together: that was the best. All of the others were wonderful, but I think the first was the best. It was a lot of firsts, actually; my first winter in a long time that I wasn't alone, my first snowball fight, my first snowman. I love snowmen now.

I remember all the fun we had. It makes me happy. For what it's worth, I regret nothing.

This will be the first winter without him. He comes and goes, comes and goes, but this is the first time I'm fairly sure he won't be coming back. He always leaves me with so many doubts..

I will miss sitting in the doorway watching the snowfall together. I will miss the snow fights, and the cocoa and hot tea.

I miss him.

I can't help myself. I just don't have it in me to hate him. ... he's like a bad habit.

Writing that made me smile.

.. I'm going to go nap in the sun while Captain's not looking. ♥